A Mugging in Bangkok

Lately there have been an increase in reports of muggings and kidnappings in Bangkok. Your very own correspondent was recently a victim of such brutality at the hands of the infamous "Beer Monster," pictured at left.

My tramatic experience is outlined below. I was:

• Held against my will
• Wasn't allowed to eat food
  
• Instead, forced to drink excessively
• Humiliated by being forced to dance in public
  
• Brain washed to believe that certain members of the opposite sex were more attractive and interesting than reality would prove
• Had my sleep stollen from me
• Had a pounding head ache the next day - leading me to believe I was also physically beaten as well
  
• Had large sums of money stollen from my wallet without my knowledge
  

If you've experienced some or all of these, then you too may have been a victim of the Beer Monster. I hope that this will serve as a reminder to all of us the importance of being vigilant after the sun goes down, as the Beer Monster can strike anywhere, any time.

~Bear

Question of the Day

Making international headlines, a Cambodian woman recently re-emerged from the jungle after 19 years of living in the wild. While there are suspicious details surrounding the story, it brings us to the question of the day:

When is a feral child no longer considered feral?

http://www.feralchildren.com/en/index.php

Yes, there is a website about feral children; we forgive you if you laugh a lot while visiting it.

A Skype Conversation in Asia

Note: Real names have been replaced with the Greek alphabet.

Warning: The following contains inter-species erotica and many, many, many, insensitivities that are funny as hell.

Part I --- Elphants rob a truck in Northern Thailand and the story of THE dog reemerges.

Alpha : Listen to this...

Alpha : Elephants stop, loot trucks on dark road

Chachoengsao _ The chief of Khao Ang Rue Nai wants the road through the wildlife sanctuary closed at night after a herd of elephants held up and looted a string of cargo trucks. About midnight last Saturday a herd of 20 elephants blocked route No.3259 (the Ban Nong Kog-Ban Wang Nam Phon road) holding up 10 trucks, Yoo Senatham said.

They tipped some vehicles on their side, spilling the cargoes on the road so their young could eat, and gorged on sugarcane and tapioca.

Beta : awesome

Alpha : Somebody then posted a pencil sketch of an elephant and said it was a police sketch of the suspects... pretty funny

Gamma : when animals attack 3

Beta : they didn't attack, they were just hundry

Alpha : then someone else that any moment the generals here are going to come on TV and say that THAKSIN was behind it

Beta : can you imagine all the Thais yelling and then getting tipped over...priceless

Beta : :)

Gamma : that is so funny, we are all laughing

Alpha : Q: What do you do when an elephant holds you up in the middle of the night?

A: Anything he wants.

Beta : now I am thinking about Alpha and the dog [FN1]...man animals are funny

Alpha : alpha and the dog? what dog?

Beta : oh...THE dog [see FN1]

Alpha : did I get really drunk one night and do something I shouldn't have?

Gamma : no the dog and the snow

Beta : if that dog had had a ruphie [FN2] alpha would be a different man today

Gamma : If I get old and loose my mind the one image I hope to never loose is Alpha and the dog

Alpha : oh, me getting molested by that black dog from Satan's kennel?

Gamma : if Alpha had the ruphie

Beta : yes, if the dog had been able to get a ruphie in Alphas mouth...wooee

Beta : damn it...not having opposable thumbs strikes again!

Gamma : do you keep a jar of peanutbutter next to your bed

Gamma : or does doing a girl doggy style make you break out in a cold sweat

Delta : We don't call it beastiality; we call it interspecies erotica

Alpha : god

Alpha : I don't know what peanut butter is all about...

Alpha : hey, even collies need a little lovin sometimes

Part II --- Old Thai ladies try to save a striped sweatered rat-dog from the jaws of a disgruntled and jealous mutt-dog

Alpha : on a totally different note about dogs: yesterday I suddenly heard women screaming like a ghost was trying to eat their baby. Instead, it was one of the mutt dogs biting onto Pi Meow's tiny dog's head. The big mutt was just sitting there wagging its tail with the entire head of the little one locked between its teeth.

Beta : I shouldn't be, but I'm laughing

Delta : you don't understand Thai culture

Gamma : so I am, out loud

Beta : is the doggy dead?

Alpha : yes, it actually was pretty funny

Gamma : I hope not otherwise I will feel bad for not stoping my laughter

Beta : oh man I wish I could hear Delta say that!

Gamma : yes it is dead?, I am still laughing

Beta : what did you do?

Alpha : it wasn't really hurting the little dog, but I think Pi Meow grabbing the little dog by its hind legs and pulling as hard as she could didn't help

Beta : did you hump the big dog to distract it!?!?!

Beta : revenge is sweet!

Beta : take that big dogs of the worls

Alpha : no, I just stared out the window in total disbelief

Alpha : I think all the gathering Thai Women's screams paralized me into inaction

Beta : you should have shot it

Alpha : it was an orchestra of shrill screams in unison... I think my ears were bleeding

Alpha : yes, but the gun is a little broken now, so the shots don't go very straight. I definately would have hit one of the ladies... which would have been ok too I guess

Gamma : You could have proved that guns in homes save lives but now I still hold my belief they are only a danger and never make you safer

Beta : Epsilon shot his neighbors dog and now they are suing him

Beta : so did the dog live?

Alpha : picture this, two thai ladies pulling two dogs apart by their hind legs screaming like bhanchies, with neighbors from all sides running over in their mumu's and curlers, and a white guy shooting the old ladies.

Delta : "an orchestra of shrill screams in unison" - the band from the Pink party Alpha went to last night

Alpha : yes, I think the dog was fine, but scared shitless. it didn't make it bleed I don't think. It just locked its jaws around the tiny skull of the rat-dog

Delta : they are rat-dogs

Alpha : and get this, the little dog was wearing a striped sweater.

Delta : !?!

Delta : ha ha ha!!!

Delta : you don't understand thai culture

Gamma : that makes it so much better

Gamma : the naked dog ate the clothed dog

Gamma : a dog in a blanket

Alpha : I just thought that was priceless. The mutt was just reminding the little one that gets to roam inside the house not to be such a pompus little prick

Gamma : maybe the dog thought it was a candycane

Beta : maybe it's like the mean kids that mug other kids in the subway for their shoes...

Beta : he wanted the sweater

Alpha : haha

Gamma : sweaters are to thai dog what air jordans were to blacks

Gamma : Alpha, did you put a sweater on you little guy today in hopes it would end up in a mutts mouth

Gamma : sick bastard

Alpha : that's just fowl.

Alpha : yes

Gamma : and at the end of all this the whole neighborhood looked up and saw there strange pasty white neighbor staring down like the creapy strange neighbor whose house always smells funny

Alpha : haha

Gamma : not a word or reaction

Alpha : funny but true

Gamma : just a stare

Alpha : then just recedes back into the shadows

Gamma : thats the guy

Gamma : so funny

Gamma : this morning just got alot better, thanks Alpha

Gamma : and it all started with a robbery

Alpha : glad I could help

[FN1] THE Dog refers to the time when Alpha was in 3rd grade walking home on a particularly snowy day. Alpha was about to reach his home. Suddenly the neighbor's dog pounced like a savage beast and knocked Alpha to the ground. THE dog was a big, big dog and proceeded to fornicate Alpha, whom heavily clothed in a winter attire had limited mobility to fend off the hungry dog. Despite the crys for help, many witnesses could only laugh.

[FN2] Alpha clamied he was 'ruphied' at a full moon party.... It was later confirmed he was just really drunk.

Cambodia Gets a Bad Rep

If you ask most Americans what they know about Cambodia, you might get any of the following responses; "Isn't that where Angelina Jolie's kid is from?" to ""Isn't that where Angkor Wat is?" to "That's the country next to Nigeria" or if you're really talking to someone who has a clue; "That's where Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge got away with genocide" - but the latter comes up far less than references to Tomb Raider. Generally speaking, those who have a slight inkling about the country's existance will not speak favorably or negatively about this poverty-stricken place, because frankly they don't know enough to pass judgement.

If you should ask the same question to a Thai, their knowledge of its history or culture will be similarly hazy, despite how much of Thai culture came from the Ancient Khmer civilization, yet they will (9 out of 10 times) present a scowl on their face and start rattling off how terrible the Cambodian people are and how they look down on them. Even mention that you know a few Cambodian words, and you'll get a funny look (not funny ha ha, but funny 'you dirty emposter dressed in a white person's skin!). The Thai will undoubtably tell you about how the Cambodians are liars, beggars and thiefs. Not a one can be trusted. They will tell you how ALL of the beggars in Thailand are really just poor Cambodians who illegally came into their country to get a hand out.

Personally knowing a very different side of the Cambodian people, I've tested this claim on several occasions, because the beggars I see typically look Thai to my untrained eye. I've attempted, sometimes with some of my Thai friends within ear shot, saying hello to some of these dirty Cambodian beggars in Khmer... only to be met with a look of confusion. Then shift my language-set over to Thai, and each and every time I get a smile of understanding and a request for money from this THAI beggar. My friends then show a little shame and guilt for their unfounded biggotted comments about the Cambodians.

A huge part of the problem stems from Thais experience at a city on the Cambodian/Thai border called Poipet - the sweaty crotch of South East Asia. The commonalities between the name Poipet and "Toilet" extend beyond mere syllables. This extremely poverished town is filled with Casinos just past the Thai border that wealthy (and not-so-wealthy) Thais flock to by the hundreds if not thousands, because gambling is illegal in Thailand. The come and flash their money around and parade around on their high horses infront of the Cambodians, the whole time looking down their noses at their Khmer neighbors. And with this influx of money from the Thai side, comes a flow of impoverished Cambodians just looking to get a piece of the action that seemingly comes so easily to the Thais. The unfortunate outcome is that the Thais who escape their country for a weekend of sin and endulgence to throw away their money, are met by the poorest of Cambodians with fewer skills or opportunities just looking for a way to catch some of that cash, legitimately or otherwise. Thus an unfair judgement is passed upon all Cambodians because a few bad apples, by the Thais who act like spoiled high school graduates on a binge graduation trip to Cancun [not to pass any judgement or anything...].

As much as I don't like Poipet and the state of the unimaginably poor children with tiny dirty hands extended in the hopes of receiving something shiny, or the rampant scams that happen to tourists and Thais who wander about clulessly, it is no fair representation of the great country of Cambodia, or the incredibly warm-hearted people who reside elsewhere in it. Yet as dispicable as that town is, as I sat for a few minutes in the shade to eat my peanut butter and jelly, I found myself instantly in the company of five smiling faces who wanted nothing more than to practice their English skills and joke with me. And as I walked back through No-Man's-Land, passing tacky Thai casinos headed towards Thailand, I thought about how much I enjoy the Cambodians' friendly demeanor and big, easy smiles... and how little I looked forward to my 5 hour bus ride home.
~Bear

Decision to Stay

After an arduous internal debate weighing the pros and cons and seeking advice from friends and family, I have decided to stay in Asia for another year. In making the decision, I followed the PUMA's advice of taking a blank sheet of paper, drawing a line down the middle, and jotting down all the reasons to go on the right and reasons to stay on the left.

There were many reasons in both categories, and ultimately, it came down to the opportunity to make something big out of the nonprofit. It is just too amazing of an opportunity not to make a big go of it.

Interestingly, fear played a part of the decision as well. It was the fear of looking back and wishing I had done more with the given opportunity. I am terrified of leaving now and in 5 years looking back and saying to myself, 'I should have stayed that extra year and made something that was great into something that was excellent.'

Perhaps the notion of looking back at our previous selves and wishing we had tried harder is not common to everyone, but I definitely have it. Looking back at university, I had a great time and did pretty well in all my classes. However, I always think I should have done things better (i.e. read more, started papers earlier, attended every class, etc.) Lacrosse is the same. I know I had a great career, but looking back I always think I should have been better (i.e. a harder left handed shot, gone after more ground balls in games, etc.)

While it may not be healthy to chastise ourselves for not doing things differently in the past, I think we should all strive for excellence in our present lives.

So my decision to stay comes with this recognition of my own fear and also the quest for excellence for the upcoming year. In doing so, I have set a few goals. First, I have started to train for a marathon in Phuket on June 17th. Second, I have decided to teach reading comprehension courses to Cambodians in my free time. On Monday, I start Robinson Crusoe with my first group of students. And third, I have started to set big but achievable goals for the nonprofit so that when those goals are reached, I can look back and be content with my efforts.

I hope you will find excellence in your life in the upcoming year as well.

Happy New Year,

J-Dub

Letter to Lou

Fabulous letter to CNN's protectionist-in-chief from George Mason economist Don Boudreaux... [courtesy of Larry Kudlow]

Dear Mr. Dobbs,

Congratulations on having a large new bloc of voters bear your name! Politicians ignore the "Lou Dobbs Democrats" at their peril.

Every night on CNN you claim to speak for these people. They are America's middle class: decent folks who work hard and play by the rules but who, you insist, are abused by the powerful elite. Free trade is one of the policies allegedly supported by the elite and for which you reserve special vitriol. You thunder that imports destroy American jobs, reduce wages, and make the economy perilously "unbalanced."

But you are mistaken.

First, some basic facts about the state of middle-class Americans. The US unemployment rate now is at a healthy 4.5 percent. This rate is lower than the average annual unemployment rate for the 1970s (6.2 percent), the 1980s (7.3 percent), and even the high-growth 1990s (5.6 percent). Inflation, meanwhile, is running below the average for the 70s, 80s, and 90s.

Here's more good news for ordinary Americans. The percentage of Americans who own their own homes is higher than ever, even though the size of today's typical home is larger than ever. Workers' leisure time, too, is at historically high levels. And jobs are just as secure today as they were in the late 1960s, according to a research paper by University of California-Davis economist Ann Huff Stevens.

Perhaps you think that this prosperity exists only because so many of today's households require two income earners. But women started leaving homes for paid employment at least a century ago, with no jump since the end of World War II in the rate at which women enter the workforce, according to a recent report by the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

Had worker pay truly deteriorated in the past 30 years, and had families reacted by sending moms to the workforce, the rate at which women join the workforce would have increased. It did not.

Today, the percentage of household expenditures used to buy nonessential items is at an all-time high - about 50 percent compared with about 45 percent in the mid-1970s. That undercuts your notion that two incomes are needed just to scrape by. Not only is America's middle class not disappearing - it's thriving.

Perhaps you miss this fact because you are misled by familiar trade jargon. In your book, "Exporting America," in your columns, and on your television show you complain vigorously and often about America's trade deficit. You call it "staggering," and wonder how long America can continue to run such deficits.

Admittedly, the word "deficit" sounds ominous. In fact, though, America's trade deficit is evidence of its economic vigor and promise. Here's why:

When Americans buy foreign-made goods and services, foreigners earn dollars. The only way America would run no trade deficit is if foreigners spent all of these dollars buying goods and services from Americans. Instead, though, foreigners invest some of their dollars in America. They buy American corporate stock, they build their own factories and retail outlets in the US, they lend dollars to Uncle Sam, and they hold some dollars in reserve as cash.

Aren't you proud that so many people the world over eagerly invest their hard-earned wealth in America?

As an American, I'm proud and optimistic. Foreigners invest in the US so readily because its economy is so strong. And even better, these investments strengthen the economy by creating more capital for American workers. These investments raise workers' productivity and wages.

Remember: A trade deficit is not synonymous with debt.

I'm writing this letter on a new Sony computer that I bought with cash. I owe Sony nothing. If Sony holds the dollars it earned from this sale, or if it uses these dollars to buy stock in General Electric or land in Arizona - that is, as long as Sony invests its dollars in America in ways other than lending it to Americans - the US trade deficit rises without raising Americans' indebtedness.

Americans go more deeply into debt to foreigners only when Americans borrow money from foreigners. Uncle Sam, of course, borrows a lot of money, from both Americans and from non-Americans. I share your concern about the reckless spending and borrowing practiced by politicians in Washington.

Foreigners, however, are not to blame for this recklessness. Indeed, I'm grateful that foreigners stand ready to help us pay the cost of our overblown government. Fortunately, Washington's spending binges are not serious enough to cripple America's entrepreneurial economy. If they were, foreigners would refuse to invest here.

If you're still skeptical that America's trade deficit is no cause for concern, perhaps you'll be persuaded by Adam Smith, who wrote that "Nothing, however, can be more absurd than this whole doctrine of the balance of trade."

Smith correctly understood that with free trade, the economy becomes larger than any one nation - a fact that brings more human creativity, more savings, more capital, more specialization, more opportunity, more competition, and a higher standard of living to all those who can freely trade.

Sincerely,

Donald J. Boudreaux
Chairman, Department of Economics
George Mason University