Lessons from Locals #1
Well ladies and gents, here is a brief synopsis of some of the useful lessons we've learned from the locals in Southeast Asia thus far, mostly regarding food. Many of these pieces of wisdom we picked up while traveling around the region. More to come!
1. Insects eating you at dinner time is unavoidable, annoying, and potentially dangerous. You eating insects, cooked or raw, is delicious!
2. Eating the unmentionable parts of animals, especially raw, will make you strong and healthy. And for men - will bring you much fortune in the bedroom.
3. Drugging your workers with "speed" to make them work harder is "ok, because it's my building!"
4. Taxes help raise money for schools, roads and hospitals. They are also expensive. Much cheaper to pay the tax collector "directly" to avoid such pesky high costs.
5. Attaching a small plastic bag to a stick and lazily shaking it back and forth works wonders to scare off the hordes of flies that are currently eating the raw meat you have to sell, sitting in the hot sun all day at market... mmmm, fresh!
6. Sleeping is far better than working.
7. If it was once alive, eat it. If it is still sort of alive, that's ok too!
8. Hygene, shmygene.
9. Tuc-tuc drivers (mini three-wheeled taxis) are excellent entropenuers: they offer transportation, drugs, girls, places to stay.
10. A sleeping shop keeper is a good shop keeper.
11. Toilet paper is expensive... use your left hand (yes, it's true).
12. If you want to sell something to a Westerner, you only need to know these English phrases: "Same, same. No problem, it's ok."
13. Why work/play/study/be productive- when you can sit on the sidewalk and stare at people... all day long.
14. If you ever think it smells absolutely foul along the streets (which it often does), just remember, it will smell worse around the corner.
15. Why throw your trash into a bin. If you leave it on the road someone else may use it for construction!
16 Bell-hops love to play the game "where are all the light switches" with foreigners, so have your bell-hop turn on every possible light when they check in to your hotel. Great fun when you are trying to go to bed...
17. When it rains, send your children to play in the massive puddles on the main roads, because they flood better.
18. Having at least one fingernail over 2 inches long (for men and women) is great for picking at those hard to reach areas.
19. Once again, hygene-shmygene.
20. Above all else, smile and laugh at everything. It's less stressful that way!
-So this is part one of "Lessons from Locals." I think there will be plenty more where that came from. I hope you understand that I do not intend to offend - if you were here, you'd understand.
1. Insects eating you at dinner time is unavoidable, annoying, and potentially dangerous. You eating insects, cooked or raw, is delicious!
2. Eating the unmentionable parts of animals, especially raw, will make you strong and healthy. And for men - will bring you much fortune in the bedroom.
3. Drugging your workers with "speed" to make them work harder is "ok, because it's my building!"
4. Taxes help raise money for schools, roads and hospitals. They are also expensive. Much cheaper to pay the tax collector "directly" to avoid such pesky high costs.
5. Attaching a small plastic bag to a stick and lazily shaking it back and forth works wonders to scare off the hordes of flies that are currently eating the raw meat you have to sell, sitting in the hot sun all day at market... mmmm, fresh!
6. Sleeping is far better than working.
7. If it was once alive, eat it. If it is still sort of alive, that's ok too!
8. Hygene, shmygene.
9. Tuc-tuc drivers (mini three-wheeled taxis) are excellent entropenuers: they offer transportation, drugs, girls, places to stay.
10. A sleeping shop keeper is a good shop keeper.
11. Toilet paper is expensive... use your left hand (yes, it's true).
12. If you want to sell something to a Westerner, you only need to know these English phrases: "Same, same. No problem, it's ok."
13. Why work/play/study/be productive- when you can sit on the sidewalk and stare at people... all day long.
14. If you ever think it smells absolutely foul along the streets (which it often does), just remember, it will smell worse around the corner.
15. Why throw your trash into a bin. If you leave it on the road someone else may use it for construction!
16 Bell-hops love to play the game "where are all the light switches" with foreigners, so have your bell-hop turn on every possible light when they check in to your hotel. Great fun when you are trying to go to bed...
17. When it rains, send your children to play in the massive puddles on the main roads, because they flood better.
18. Having at least one fingernail over 2 inches long (for men and women) is great for picking at those hard to reach areas.
19. Once again, hygene-shmygene.
20. Above all else, smile and laugh at everything. It's less stressful that way!
-So this is part one of "Lessons from Locals." I think there will be plenty more where that came from. I hope you understand that I do not intend to offend - if you were here, you'd understand.
posted by Cali Thais at
4:03 AM
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