Friday, September 30, 2005

How Johnny D is Good

Johnny D affirmed his vast coolness in the area of design when he finished a logo for the nonprofit charity, Journeys Within Our Community. It took about 2 months to sort out the final decision via emailing and skype, but worth the wait.

To all the doubters who scoff at the man, let it be known: Johnny D is good at design and he is philanthropic. Thank you Johnny D.

~ J-Dub

Thursday, September 22, 2005

The Phenom of:

ice cold beer takes good
Unless your from England and enjoy warm cask ales, the phenom of ice together with beer is nothing new. In fact, they are meant to be like Johnny D and fucking up. Like Bear and cock-blocking (although he has improved quite a bit recently). Think about the scene from Shawshank Redemption where Andy and his buddies are tarring a roof during the sweltering heat of the summer and what was the one thing that Andy wanted when he finished? That's right: a bucket of cold brews. In that scene you could taste freedom.

So great -- beer and ice -- it's everywhere. Well, you've probably tried all the combinations: beer in a frosty cup, bottles of beer on ice, maybe even from a can of Bud that you left in the freezer a bit too long and every time you try to drink from it, you get crystalized chunks of beer that freeze the back of your throat. Or even like this guy, sculpted your own beer mug from a block of ice.

But have you tried the phenom of ice in beer? Well let me tell you it is the rage here in Asia. Everywhere you go Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos, whenever you order a beer, you have the option -- ice or no ice. Sometimes the beer will be straight from a freezer and they will still ask you -- ice? It takes a bit to get used to, especially considering that you must be wary of waterborn illness in Southeast Asia and that includes ice. No one really wants the holy shits on a Friday night. But hey, beer has alcohol which kills germs right?

My theories about why Asians put ice in their beer:

- Refrigeration units are very expensive for small bars, ice is much cheaper. Warm beer + ice = more profit and cold beer.

- Most people in Southeast Asia are poor, and ice gives the illusion of the never ending glass of beer.

- Most people in Southeast Asia drink slowly, and their beer gets warm quickly. Well, I know it's close to magic, but ice keeps things cold including beer. (By the way I recommend this to anyone who at the end of a long Saturday night of drinking wants to keep drinking, but doesn't want to spend more money or get even more hammered -- ask the barkeep to throw some ice in your beer.)

Posted by ~ J-Dub ~

Sunday, September 18, 2005

"We just have to find some good girls and sleep with them once, and they will be addicted to our sweet penile juices." - Bear

Posted by J-Dub

The Fall of the Telecoms is Near (and Skype Kicks Ass)

In a surprise move, E-bay has announced last week that it will buy Skype, a kick ass internet telephone (VOIP) company, for $2.6 Billion. This news follows suit of Microsoft, Google and Yahoo! who also recently acquired small firms offering similar telephony technology. This is great news for consumers, but may mark the beginning of the end for tradional fixed line telephone service operators.

Skype just plain kicks ass. Using a microphone/earphone headset, the internet, and Skype software, you can make free calls anwhere in the world to anyone with the same setup. I urge, nay implore, all of you to try Skype out for yourself.

Some of you may remember back in SF when a random 2Pac song would be playing and suddenly the sound of a phone ringing would eminate from my computer speakers. WTF? Oh, yeah, it's just my cousin calling from Cambodia. For free! Normal fixed line call from U.S. to Cambodia : roughly $6 per minute.

The lag time (from being 8,000 miles away) will take a bit getting used to. But you can also use Skype to call any mobile or fixed line for a nominal fee. The price is based on the destination of the call and the quality is quite good. This is where telecoms will be taking a huge hit. Normal pricing of phone calls depends on distance between callers and duration of calls, but with VOIP you can use the internet to call for a fraction of the cost for as long as you like. It is a growing indication that soon fixed line telephones, using the internet, will be free of charge. For more information on the future of telecoms, you can read the Economist's excellent article here.

~ J-Dub

Thursday, September 15, 2005

From One City of Angels to Another















I've done a fair amount of travel for my years on this earth, and I expect to do a lot more. I've explored the Big Apple and enjoyed all that it's busy streets and pushy citizens have to offer. Now, I'm learning the ropes around the Big Mango (yeah, Bangkok), and finding it a totally different animal from most large cities I've been to.

As many of you know, I went to University just outside of Los Angeles. What fewer people know is that LA's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Poriuncula." I don't know- it was a fun place to be and all, but I think calling it "The Angels" for short is a bit of a misnomer. Just ask the dude with the megaphone shouting obscenities at a trash can, across the street from Starbucks and he will tell you.

Interestingly, I moved from one City of Angels, to another. Bangkok's proper name, abbreviated, is Krung Thep - meaning something similar to City of Angels. Also, similar to LA's shortened name, Krung Thep is only part of an abreviated name that reads, "Krung Thep Mahanakhon Amon Rattanakosin Mahinthara Ayuthaya Mahadilok Phop Noppharat Ratchathani Burirom Udomratchaniwet Mahasathan Amon Piman Awatan Sathit Sakkathattiya Witsanukam Prasit." It is certified as the longest city name in the world by Guinness Book of Records. It means something like "City of angles, the great city, residence of the beautiful Emerald Buddha, happy city... and on and on about how wonderful it is here."

So some of you are probably saying to yourselves, "with LA and Bangkok having so much in common, why go through the effort of moving half way around the world?" The truth is that they are really different. I mean really, really different. Sure, in both cities I have trouble getting by with my native language of English. And in both places I have the lightest skin of anyone around. Than again, I think that statement would be true for my pasty whiteness anywhere in the world, save Scandanavia in the dead of winter. The point is that contrary to popular belief, Bangkok is in fact not exactly like LA.

~Bear

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Muay Thai and Racism?


While it can be disputed that Muay Thai is the supreme form of hand to hand combat, no one can deny that it is just plain kicks ass. And while being the Thai national sport and favorite spectator past time for many in Southeast Asia, it wasn't until thanks to the superb acting abilities and action sequences of Jean Claude Van Dam in Kickboxer that brought this sport to international attention.

Seeing it on TV is one thing, but in person it is way better. Scott, Emanuel, and I all headed to Ratchadamnoen Stadium where ten fights were scheduled. We read online that ticket prices varied depending on the location of the seating. 220 bht, 500 bht, and 1,000 bht for upper, middle, and ringside seating. No problem we thought 10 bucks for 10 rounds of battle, well worth the cost.

But being foreigners, we got the cold steel shaft thrown our way when we tried to buy our tickets for the above prices. Those prices were for locals. Higher prices were for foreigners. Much higher prices -- 3 times as much. So we bit our lip, paid the money and entered. But we had to enter into the "foreinger" section. That's right, foreigners and locals are seperated in their seating.

Is this racist? Damn straight. But am I going to make a huge deal about it? no. I will simply point out the fact that segregation does exist. My theory about why they do this is simple. Thais bet on the matches and get very loud during the fights. My guess is that things might get ugly if you combine the two groups. Either with booze induced fighting, or with foreigners placing bets by accident and getting into some deep shit for it.

Moreover, the fights were great. One dude was knocked out cold with a swift kick to the dome. They had to take him away with a strecher. But wasting no time, the victor threw up his hands and the next match proceeded literally within the next two minutes. Deaths from fights are not uncommon and knockouts, especially from elbows, can be super leathal. But many fighters are willing to take the risk as fame, glory, and poontang bequeath the winners.

~ J-Dub ~

Monday, September 12, 2005

Dubbers has a doppelganger

Admit it: you've tried to google your name and your city to see if you have a modicum of fame. Perhaps you were really bored. Or maybe you wanted to see if your high school record in badminton is still archived in the local newspaper.

Well J-dub has found his doppelganger. J-dub would be very upset except for the fact that his imposter's site is informative and pretty interesting.

Thai Weddings


Weddings are great, no matter where they are. Bear and J-Dub were invited to a wedding this Saturday last by a Thai friend whose cousin was marrying an American dude from Washington DC. It was a great excuse for Bear and I to get dressed up in our custom made Vietnam suits as well as a chance to drink large quantities of free booze. I love weddings.

Well, if anyone has been to a mixed race marriage (this was my first) maybe they can help me out. Do they all seem very awkward for the Westerns? Perhaps one reason -- out of probably 200 Thais on the bride's side, there were at best guess 8 Westerners from the groom's side. Being the minority you could tell the whole groom's side was completely tense and anxious at the whole situation especailly considering this was the first time they'd been out of the country. Both the mom and sister of the groom looked as if they should tell the dude not to go through with it, but so overwhelmed, could only say, "We love you and good luck."

It is said that in Asia love and money are mixed. Meaning, people get married who don't quite love each other. Not exactly that women are gold-diggers in the Western sense, but very close. Women here look for dudes who have the bread and cheese. The starving musican types that eminate sensitivity in the West are scoffed at in the East. These types may be great at listening and singing Kenny Rodgers, but here in Thailand, money talks and bullshit walks.

But hell, who knows. They looked happy and congradulations to them.

Interesting fact: At Thai weddings, it is polite not to look at the camera when taking a photo.

-- J-Dub

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Allow Me to Dispell a Few Rumors

Ok, so you've been kept up to date from one man's perspective. Don't get me wrong, Big Dub has a good head on his shoulders, but I don't know that I agree 100% with all that has been said. You see, Dub is over here saying that I do my damnedest to obstruct his potential for meeting girls. On the contrary - I work very hard to try to meet girls to hang out with. Here is the way it works: I prefer knowing for sure there will be cool girls to hang out with when we go out, and Dub prefers to take his chances once out and about. That's all fine and dandy, I think that way can work well too, but what he seems to be counting on is that there will be someone worth while at the bar who is not with dude. And you see, if quality ladies are hard to come by, then the drinks keep going down until suddenly quality is not an issue. Don't misunderstand me, I am not saying that The Dub-Dub has low standards; it's more that he believes in the theory of "all boats float with the rising tide" of beer in his belly. I will agree, however, that last Saturday night ended up being one hell of a funny night of too much alcohol and no luck with girls for the both of us...

Now on to the bigger issues. Right now Dubster is cracking me up with yet more of his crazy antics. Let's just say he does a wonderful rendition of Margarita Ville. I highly recommend checking it out if you get the chance. It is moments like this that make me so glad that he decided to get on that plane. Hey, there aren't many people you can live with, work with, and spend basically all of your free time with, and still enjoy their company. Some people might call it heterosexual life partner - and I can see where they are going with it, but I just think, "Hey, we're family!"

~Bear~

Monday, September 05, 2005

Bear and J-Dub Endure a Day of Shopping and a Night of Drinking and J-Dub tries to Pinch hit after he strikes out.

It's got to be record: 7 hours of shopping followed by six hours of intense drinking.

The Ma Boon Krong (MBK) is probably the biggest assortment of shopping I've ever seen. The fourth floor has so many goddamn cell phones you wonder how any of the shops stay in business. My best guess would be that each stall has about one hundred phones for every customer, and there are so many stalls that I would also guess each stall makes two sales a day, if they are lucky. Each floor has a mini-food court. There is also a bowling alley and movie theater inside.

The thrill of the bargain was too good not to get giddy with excitement. I bought T-shirts, copied CDs (2 Pac's Better Dayz, Trick Daddy's Thug Matrimony, OutKast's Speakerboxx, and a Reggae Compilation -- all for 7 bucks), new black shoes, a hat, a sick pair of cotton pants, and J-Dub and Bear were happy. Especially because many vendors gave us exclusive, "special price." I love to feel special.

Being Saturday, we hopped into a cab back to MTT, where we showered and manned up for the night ahead. The night almost took a horrendous turn for the worse when, a few hours earlier, Bear came desperately close to pulling his usual cock-blocking tactics by inviting our landlord's secretary out for the evening.

Bear on his mobile, "You should bring your friend and we can hang out."

Talking on the phone.

Bear, "Yes... Call your friend, and then call me back. Okay bye."

Sounds good, no? Great, except for the fact that it's Bear. Even my own family, my own kin, would ask a one-eyed lesbian out for a Satuday evening, if it equaled a potential friend [FN 1]. J-dub had to take immediate attention to this matter and explained that we might be able to do much better as a duo. That is, not being held down by girls who may turn out to be way lame. Which by the way seems more and more to be Bear's Modus Oporandi. And if it is, it will be my sole ambition to change that.

So we arrive at OTK which hosts multiple venues of live bands and music. Finding our niche in Club 400, we pay our cover charge and get our free drinks. Loud Thai music bumps from the speakers and it is almost immediately clear that we are the only white people in the whole place. Random dudes would come up and want to drink with us. This only gave us more incentive to keep drinking more. We kept drinking loads, drinking and dancing until finally the lights came on and everyone was meant to get out. Bear asks these girls who seemed very interested and way cute for their number but they flat out rejected him with a tenitive, "uhh, no." Strike one.

Across the way, we find a bar that has a ton of people still drinking. We come to find out that it was a place that was celebrating its 6th anniversary. Fuck yeah! I love anniversaries. So we keep drinking. And keep drinking. Bear was chatting away with some chick at the bar, while I was getting smiles from across the bar from a very pretty Thai girl. J-Dub thinks to himself, "Oh... Hellrow pretty Thai girl."

J-dub approaches and sits next to pretty Thai girl and company. Getting down to business, he asks, "so what do you do?" Not knowing quite what to say, the respond, "uhh... wee.... are free..."

Now what could a response like that mean? Prostitues: obviously. My face must have been classic, but not wanting any of that, I go "okay... I'm going over there." And so I return to the bar with Bear and his new company. Completely unbeknownst to me, not even thinking about it, my assumption about these girls couldn't have been more astray.

They weren't prostitutes, they were University students who don't have jobs. I learned later that this is pretty typical of Thais. They don't get jobs until they graduate. But instead of saying that they were students, they said they were "free." That assumption killed me an hour later, when Bear had left citing the fact that he had puked 4 times already and was going to pass out at the bar if he didn't go home. Aye, Bear, J-dub is staying.

So after Bear had left, I managed to make a scene with some Japanese dude who was hammered out of his tree. I would say shit like, "Wow! This mother-fucker, right here. He's one son of a bitch!" Not knowing how to respond, this Japanese dude would just repeat exactly what I just said but 30 decibles louder. I almost pissed myself laughing. He got slightly angry so I explained it was all in good fun, and he too started to laugh hysterically.

As 5am approached, I decided that getting a taxi home was probably the best course of action. I said my good-byes and as I was leaving, the chick I assumed was a prostitute walked out at the same time. Being completely fucked, I said hello. Well, she asked me for my number and still thinking she was a bad girl, I said that she had to kiss me first. Strike two.

Not thinking that was too funny, she caught up with her two friends who were with dude. Well, I sat next to one of the dudes and asked in Thai ("tao a-rai"? meaning 'how much?') Strike three! My Thai being sub par, I hope he thought I was asking about the taxi and not the girl, but I obviously was speaking about the latter.

I did, however, manage to get the pretty Thai girl to put her number in my phone. Yesterday, I called her, but did not get an answer. So I texted her. Still nothing. What am I doing? You can't bat from the dugout. I was out long ago. Can you pinch hit after you strike out? Well Dubski tried his damnest.

Yesterday, I woke up at 4pm and surprising feeling great from an abundant sleep, got some work done. After a modicum of productivity, we watched Kill Bill.

[FN 1] Our landlord's secretary is not a one-eyed lesbian. Hypothetical situation used for emphasis.