Saturday, March 31, 2007

Lessons Learned Managing People in Asia

Losing face in Asia slaughters the head of the prized pig. Telling someone they make a mistake can be tantamount to a complete cessation in dialogs between two parties. I have read much about this in books like "Culture Shock: Thailand", warning of the dangers when telling someone they fucked up, but this is much more difficult to handle in practice. The natural tendency is just to ream the person who is in the wrong. But doing this is not a good idea.

Whenever I fucked up as a kid, my father would never get really mad as much as show how disappointed he was at my behavior. This had a tremendous effect that I'm only recently starting to understand. It worked great. But in Asia, it doesn't.

I made the mistake of telling one of my teacher's that I was disappointed in him, when I made a surprise visit to his class to find no students. I called him in the morning so he knew I was coming, but why weren't the students there? Apparently they were busy cleaning their government school - a task that happens every so often - but I was a bit still perturbed. This was added to the fact that I was showing the school to some people who bought school supplies for the students, and it didn't look good that there were no students.

I kept my cool, but told him that I was a bit angry, and I didn't know if I believed his excuse. Shouldn't there have been at least a few students?

After that encounter, I haven't heard from the student in 2 months. He is unreachable and his classmates say that he is scared to talk to me now. This is good for neither him or me. I need him to help with our projects, and he needs to fulfill his commitment by helping in the community so he doesn't loose his much needed scholarship.

So I've learned a valuable lesson. In Asia, managing people should focus on encouragement, highlighting when people perform well, and offering suggestions to improve behavior.

~ J-Dub

Sunday, March 25, 2007

At the Gym

Dude in speedo: Why do you wear the dress?

J-Dub: Excuse me?

Dude in speedo points to J-Dub's tank top.

Dude in speedo: Why do you wear the dress?

J-Dub: I wear the shirt because in America it is respectful to wear the shirt while exercising.

Dude in speedo: Ok! Ok! Yeah! Sorry!

Dude in speedo stops watching Chinese Cartoon and leaves. 2 other fat dudes in speedos enter the gym and start working out.

I really wish I signed up for a month membership at a different gym.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

A Letter to all the Dudes at the Gym

Dear Fat Dudes Working Out in Speedos,

For the love of all things decent, can you please stop wearing speedos when you workout in a public gym. There is no justifiable reason to wear a speedo when working out. No on 'looks good' working out in a speedo. Even those body-builder dudes in the posters on the walls, whom perhaps you are failing to imitate, don't look good in speedos. The gym is isn't your own personal rec room, and we are not at the beach. Even David Hasselhoff would condemn how your undulating jiggle rolls when you lean over and grunt to pick up your 10 pound dumbbells.

Would it really kill you put on some shorts and a T-Shirt? After you leave the last piece of equipment, others have to use it, and wearing some extra clothes would prevent speedo-ass imprints on the equipment. You see, your speedo doesn't wick up 100% of the perspiration you expire, and frankly I don't like to use a bench knowing it was just abused by your speedo-ass.

I would also like to point out that the gym is a place to work out, and not your living room where you can lounge around and watch terrible Chinese soap operas at maximum volume. Could you please turn down the TV and start exercising your huge gut away? My iPod can only go so loud before my ears start to bleed bleed.

Thank you,

J-Dub

Thursday, March 22, 2007

How to Make Money in Asia

1. Select a product that sells well.
2. Create a crappy name that vaguely describes said product, and change the name.
4. Sell said product for slightly cheaper than original product.
5. Do not include any information containing location of production or distribution.
6. Watch the money come pouring in.


Sunday, March 18, 2007

J-Dub Goes Running -- Fuck-Off Cambodian Dogs

While running in Cambodia, I get to see a lot of the everyday life in the countryside. One thing that makes running difficult is the amount of fuck-off dogs. They are everywhere. Upon seeing a white boy running, they immediately begin to bark and sprint at me full speed, rabid teeth shining. The initial response can be terrifying, especially when it is unexpected and the canines come chasing from out of the wood work. But I learned to practice a local technique to ward them off - pretending to have a big rock in hand and throwing the imaginary rock at the dog. It works every time. The dogs back down instantly, and although they continue to bark, they stop the chase.

97% of Cambodians treat their dogs like shit. It's really quite sad. Little kids throw rocks at and kick their 'pet' dogs. Adults usually only care to keep their hounds fed well enough to barely muster up enough energy to bark and chase the white boy runner. Hell, Cambodians eat dogs (although they will deny it if you ask them). The canine is seen as very low animal in Cambodia. In fact, it is used as an insult to call someone a dog. I made that mistake when I said to my Cambodian friend Sina, "Thanks Big Dog," to which he replied,".... why you call me the dog?" Damn... That took a while to explain.

~ J-Dub

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Taken from a Conversation

On the way back from the market in Cambodia.

Makara: "Why do you think the old man likes the young girl?"

J-Dub: "Hmmm.... Why do you think the old man likes the young girl?"

Makara: "Yeah, because the old man has the car, the big house, has lots of money, and has the good take care skill."

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

The Trouble with Innovation in Asia

There is a children's story told in Cambodia that extrapolates the innovative culture in Asia nicely. It goes something like this:

A coconut collector is taking shade from the mid-day sun in a palm tree. He looks over to his neighbor's land and thinks to himself, "If I hire a worker to help me to collect coconuts, together we can collect twice as many coconuts, and with the extra money, I can hire more workers to collect from my other neighbors' land. Then, I can hire even more workers, and eventually I could sit in the shade and would not have to work; I would only have to manage the other workers."

The entrepreneur then thinks to himself, "What will I do if I my workers become lazy?" He thinks to himself, "I know I will kick them!"

Just then, being so deep in thought, he kicks the air pretending to kick his imaginary worker, and he falls from the tree. On his way down, he grabs hold of a branch.

Dangling from the tree, he yells to his four brothers. The brothers run fast and see their brother in distress. They tell him to let go and fall into a pile of rice husks below.

"No, that will hurt," says the coconut collector, "Tie the four corners of your kromas [FN1] together and hold it tight to make a net to catch me."

So the four brothers follow his orders, and their lone brother drops from the tree. When he falls into the kromas, his weight brings all five of the brothers heads together and they all die.

The moral of the story is: "Don't think for yourself; Just do your job."

~ J-Dub

[FN1] A kroma is a multi-purpose piece of fabric used in Cambodia.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Corruption in Cambodia

So I have to get a extension visa to work in Cambodia for the next year. The official rate for an extension is $150 to do it myself (i.e. go to the Ministry of Labor Department, fill out paperwork, pay the fees, etc.) But the 'official rate' is much different from the actual cost. See, if you don't mind waiting 4 weeks to get your passport back, going to the Department multiple times because of 'errors', you still only might be able to pull off the 'official rate'. But most likely, you'll have to put some money on top of the application to get it back in proper shape. So I'm going with the other alternative - to go through an agent at a cost of $275. Where does this extra money go? You guessed it - to the guy at top of the totem pole in Phnom Penh's Ministry of Labor Department. I am so used to dealing with corruption now it is a bit ridiculous. While I understand it's a part of every developing country, Cambodia's corruption problem looks never ending.

Here is a fun game dealing with corruption in Cambodia:

http://www.talesofasia.com/cambodia-corruption.htm

~ J-Dub

Visit Burma


Burma (Myanmar) is damn awesome. Bear and J-Dub visited the junta-controlled country last month and loved it. The Burmese, unlike the descriptions of the Thai who refer to the Burmese as snakes [FN1], are fun, intelligent, and warm people. And the avocados are the size of human infants and taste amazing with a little added salt and a lime.

Nevertheless, I've never been to a country so backwards. No ATM machines anywhere, no credit cards are accepted. The most modern cars are from the early 1990's [FN 2]. Unlike the rest of Southeast Asia, your average Burmese doesn't have a cell phone, because a SIM card costs $2,500. They still use telegrams. Telegrams.

I'll try to post more about Burma later, but probably won't have time. So just check out:

[FN1] Scene: Thai guide, J-Dub, B sitting at a table.

Thai Guide: 'I don't want to say anything bad about the Burmese, but they are like snakes. Always go like this.'

Thai Guide uses her right hand to imitate a slithering snake.

B and J-Dub: 'Wow'

[FN2] A used 1990 Toyota Corolla with 200,000 miles costs $30,000. WTF?