La La Land

It's been several months since the jump [back] across the pond and I feel like it is time to reflect on it a little. The transition has been smoother than most anticipated in the beginning, yet it is the subtle items that build upon themselves, like soft fluffy marshmallows stacking higher and higher until finally their weight is felt and their number many. Little things, good and bad that you don't notice until finally when you do and suddenly can't stop seeing them everywhere. Below we'll discuss a few of them.

Size:
Everything is bigger here. I mean everything... from the freeways to the food portions, the grocery stores to the waist lines. Let me say, my God this is a fat country. With that said, women also carry curves on their hips and on their chests. It's so much easier to distinguish girls from boys (and I'm not even referring to the ladyboys of Asia).

How this change in size affects me:
I'm reminded how much I don't ever want to become fat. Sure, it may sound bad, but fat people are the tubby, sweaty embodiment of laziness. Food portions are delightfully large, and it's great to get back to decent mexican food on every corner. As for feminine female forms - hell yes. How could I ever live without the joy of large mammaries bouncing from one shop to the next? I'm finding myself more open to both petite and curvy girls... and that opens up a lot of possibilities, however unlikely a positive outcome may be (more on that below).

Cleanliness:
Call me crazy, but LA seems so clean to me. Where are the choking odor-trails that lead you to (or on a hot afternoon, away from) the local fish market? One can safely take a walk down most sidewalks here without constant heed to avoiding steamy garbage piles, wretched diseased stray dogs, the mushy daily reminders those dogs leave behind, rotting scraps from the local restaurant, and unclean beggars clinging to their bottles of whiskey. Oh Bangkok, how your distinct smells will ever dance in my memories. At least I have the urine-soaked stairwell in the parking garage on the way to work to console me and provide a little familiarity.

Personalities:
Here in LA, I feel I've lost my superstar status. This is not solely because I no longer stand towering over the tops of jet-black haired Thais, my skin sparkling powdery white. My skin still keeps its lustrous pale-glow. I no longer feel the full superstar status because everyone else in this city seems to feel they have superstar status too. It truly is amazing to be in a place where everyone is better than everyone else... but I don't see how that math adds up. Let's just say LA is not a land of humble, outgoing Buddhists. Than again, the quirkiness adds a layer of entertainment, so there's that...

Girls:
For my take on women in Thailand, look through past posts - there's plenty there. As for La women, I could (and probably later will) go into great detail about their unique character. For now, I'll allow this story to suffice:
This evening we were on our way to a movie and pulled up to a red light. I turned my head to notice a very attractive brunette in the car next to us. I look for less than 2 seconds before she turns towards me and caught off guard, I offer a completely innocent smile. Before I could even begin uttering the eloquent words "i'd cut off a finger for her" to my roommate, this goddess mars her own beauty with a fierce scowl and a quick-drawn middle finger intended for me (the finger appointed with some huge diamond-encrusted ring, naturally). She then lurches her car forwards, nearly slamming into the car ahead of her, simply to get out of direct eyesight of me. This whole event happened over the course of 7.3 seconds. Her judgment of me as a human took a mere 1.3 seconds. Extrapolating this data out, she went from zero to bitchy in record-breaking time.

Awesome. Welcome to La La Land.
~Bear