The Golfing Report
The long awaited J-Dub Goes Golfing Report is here. Now golfing in Thailand is great for a number of reasons, but with it comes with a few givens that aren't so pleasant. So I'll start with the bad and explain how the cleverness of the Asians have turned each disagreeable aspect into a pleasant experience.
The Bad #1: It will be a shock to no one that Thailand is hot year round. Sweaty balls hot. The kind of hot that turns pale Irish-blooded white boys like me into burned red tomatos in under an hour. It will also surprise no one that golfing requires an extended amount of time being in the sun and last Sunday was no exception. Hot, hot, hottness marked the first part of the day.
The Good #1: One word: umbrellas. That's right, each player is given an umbrella during the length of play. In just the same way I don't want to get buned like parking lot attendant at the State Fair, neither do the Asians. But I know what your thinking, "How can you hold an umbrella while you hold your clubs?" The answer is simple: you don't have to carry your clubs, because there is a caddy that carries your clubs for you. See The Good #2.
The Good #2: Your own personal caddy makes golfing an entirely new and exciting experience. (If you've experienced golf with a caddy, you can skip over this part) I can't over-emphasize how cool a caddy is. They are helpful in so many ways, probably the number one reason has to do with the fact that all the caddies in Asia are females under 30. They too do not want to become blackened by the sun, so they cover every extremity in clothing. Nevertheless, they all wear tight clothing and all are very cute. I was fortunate to have a hottie. Aesthetics aside, caddies also:
- Carry your clubs for you
- Keep score for you (which is key when you've been consuming booze)
- Give you tips on what clubs to use when
- Give tips on how to read the green
- Oh, yeah, most important - they carry your clubs for you
The Bad #2: The Asians take golfing very seriously. I swear it's like watching any Sean Penn movie - if you get sucked into it, you won't smile for the next three days. Myself, I like to play to have fun on the course. Some might call me a weekend golfer, and I'm fine with that tag. I'm out to relax, have fun, and crack open some beers. But especially the Japanese and Koreans, each swing is like they're preforming open heart surgery.
The Good #3: There is beer everywhere along the way. The choices are very limited: Singha and Hieniken, but there is nothing better to cut throught the solemnity. I was fortunate to be paired with two other Thai dudes who were happy to let the brews fly and make jokes along the way.
The Bad #3: The language barrier. While I strongly feel fortunate for having been raised in an English speaking country, it doesn't help very much in Thailand, where everyone here (unlike Cambodia) can get by in their day to day business speaking Thai. But my limited ability to speak Thai (it's a damn hard language to learn) makes conversations difficult.
The Good #4: See The Good #3.
The Good #5: Most of the golfing terminology stays in English. This I found interesting. Words like "iron", "the green", "bunker", "the tee", and yelling "FOUR !!!" when your ball is about to hit someone in the nuts, all remain in English.
I'm sure there is more, but I leave J-Dub's Golfing Report at that. Ya'll just have to wait for part Deux.
~ J-Dub
The Bad #1: It will be a shock to no one that Thailand is hot year round. Sweaty balls hot. The kind of hot that turns pale Irish-blooded white boys like me into burned red tomatos in under an hour. It will also surprise no one that golfing requires an extended amount of time being in the sun and last Sunday was no exception. Hot, hot, hottness marked the first part of the day.
The Good #1: One word: umbrellas. That's right, each player is given an umbrella during the length of play. In just the same way I don't want to get buned like parking lot attendant at the State Fair, neither do the Asians. But I know what your thinking, "How can you hold an umbrella while you hold your clubs?" The answer is simple: you don't have to carry your clubs, because there is a caddy that carries your clubs for you. See The Good #2.
The Good #2: Your own personal caddy makes golfing an entirely new and exciting experience. (If you've experienced golf with a caddy, you can skip over this part) I can't over-emphasize how cool a caddy is. They are helpful in so many ways, probably the number one reason has to do with the fact that all the caddies in Asia are females under 30. They too do not want to become blackened by the sun, so they cover every extremity in clothing. Nevertheless, they all wear tight clothing and all are very cute. I was fortunate to have a hottie. Aesthetics aside, caddies also:- Carry your clubs for you
- Keep score for you (which is key when you've been consuming booze)
- Give you tips on what clubs to use when
- Give tips on how to read the green
- Oh, yeah, most important - they carry your clubs for you
The Bad #2: The Asians take golfing very seriously. I swear it's like watching any Sean Penn movie - if you get sucked into it, you won't smile for the next three days. Myself, I like to play to have fun on the course. Some might call me a weekend golfer, and I'm fine with that tag. I'm out to relax, have fun, and crack open some beers. But especially the Japanese and Koreans, each swing is like they're preforming open heart surgery.
The Good #3: There is beer everywhere along the way. The choices are very limited: Singha and Hieniken, but there is nothing better to cut throught the solemnity. I was fortunate to be paired with two other Thai dudes who were happy to let the brews fly and make jokes along the way.
The Bad #3: The language barrier. While I strongly feel fortunate for having been raised in an English speaking country, it doesn't help very much in Thailand, where everyone here (unlike Cambodia) can get by in their day to day business speaking Thai. But my limited ability to speak Thai (it's a damn hard language to learn) makes conversations difficult.
The Good #4: See The Good #3.
The Good #5: Most of the golfing terminology stays in English. This I found interesting. Words like "iron", "the green", "bunker", "the tee", and yelling "FOUR !!!" when your ball is about to hit someone in the nuts, all remain in English.
I'm sure there is more, but I leave J-Dub's Golfing Report at that. Ya'll just have to wait for part Deux.
~ J-Dub
posted by Cali Thais at
3:05 AM
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