Thursday, October 05, 2006

Break It Off Like a Kit-Kat...

Tonight I'm going to break up with my girlfriend. Sure, there are upsides like she enjoys being a Sugar Mama, usually fun to hang out with and her "Engrish" is pretty good. But I think you'll find my reasons are more than justified:

1)She's crazy (most Asian girls are to some degree)
2) She said something utterly unacceptable:

"Bear, when you leave to go back to America, I want you to give me your sperm for a baby." [Awkward Silence] "It will be so cute."

-Ok, so maybe it was a joke that got lost a little in translation. I followed up with a gentle "Not a chance in Hell," to which she replied:

"Ok, I'll get you really drunk and steal your sperm."
[Very Awkward Silence]

That wasn't merely the straw that broke the camel's back... that was the 1/2 ton steel I-beam that crushed the camel to smithereens.

Bye-Bye crazy Thai girl...

Comments welcome.

~Bear
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1 comment:

  1. Cali ThaisThursday, October 05, 2006 10:55:00 PM

    Bear, good work. This is what I've been saying for awhile now. Good bye Platapus. We need to get Dave to send us the pic of your gf and put it side by side a picture of a platapus. That would be a fitting good bye i think.

    Stealing sperm is not cool, no matter how cute your babies might have been. What are you going to do to fill your need for drama?

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